When Hayley met Eddie

Photo: Jess Husband

Hayley Beveridge as Edwina

by Carissa Pritchard

Hayley Beveridge is cast as Edwina, based on “Eddie” – originally played by Chris Penn. As she hurls abuse at the other characters she seems rough, tough and a little bit scary. On the lunch break I sit down with her and in less than a minute we’re giggling like a couple of schoolgirls.

She’s nothing like “Edwina”, she confirms, “It’s really fun doing a gender reversal, its not often that I get cast in a role like this, even when I auditioned they told me to be less smiley.” Then she giggles.

Since we’re talking gender roles, I wonder if playing the “tough guy” is an act for most men too?

When Harry Met Sally suggests men are only interested in sex, lack any desire for emotional connection thus can’t be friends with women. Yet my best friend is male and in more than a decade of friendship he has never tried to sleep with me.  Last week he told me his brother had separated from his wife and was flying in to stay for the week.

I caught up with him yesterday and asked about his brother.

“He’s really good actually”, he said. “I’m exhausted though. We’ve been up talking until two in the morning each night and I’ve still had to work all week.”

 “I mean, how’s he feeling about the break-up?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t talk about it.”

“What?!” I ask.

“I know what you’re going to say, but guys are different. I figure if he wanted to talk about it he would’ve raised it. If not, there’s plenty of other things to discuss.”

Hayley offers her view on why men and women differ emotionally.

“Look what happens when a girl falls over. The mother rushes over and cuddles her. If a boy does, she stands him up and says, ‘you’ll be right.’”

More than a theory, this example has been proven by hundreds of research studies into parental reinforcement of gender roles.

“Aren’t men just less emotional than women?” I ask Matt, Camera Assistant.

“No. But if you talk about your emotions you’re not seen as the ‘alpha’ male. You’re showing weakness and vulnerability, which means you’re an easy target for ridicule from the rest of the guys.”

I decide to ask my Best Male Friend (so common now it has it’s own acronym – BMF), “Why haven’t you tried sleeping with me?”

“I know we’d never work in a relationship – we’re just too different. So if we slept together I’d just end up losing my best friend.”

Is he suggesting an emotional connection is more valuable than casual sex?

He’s not alone. Gary Neuman, marriage counselor and author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Truth About Cheating revealed on Oprah that 92% of the men he interviewed cheated because of an emotional disconnection, not primarily a sexual one. Neuman says, "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

Even more surprising was the reaction of female viewers. Oprah received thousands of scathing replies - not about men cheating, rather the suggestion they were looking for an emotional connection. Why are women so confronted by men being more than “tough guys” after casual sex? Perhaps gender roles are just as oppressive for men as they are for women.

Photo: Jess Husband